Why are public apologies the suddenly politically correct requirement of everyone who so much as looks cross-eyed at a co-worker or glares at a rude sales assistant?
Don’t get me wrong. I think an honest, sincere apology to someone whom you’ve hurt is a good thing. A necessary show of humility that clears the air and gives the recipient an opportunity to forgive. But surely it should be left to the two people concerned and not turned into a ‘let’s see who can grovel the best’ reality show.
Why is it the business of anyone but the parties concerned? What difference should an apology, whether it was given or for that matter received, make to a complete outsider?
Recently, I’ve heard the talking heads on TV, suggest that a congressman who played hankie pankie with a lady not his wife, should apologize. Then days later chiding the same man for being a bit slow in the apology department…he hadn’t hung his head in public shame yet, nor begged forgiveness.
As I sat open-mouthed listening to the poor schnook’s life being dissected by complete strangers, I couldn’t help but wonder to whom was he supposed to apologize? Everyone who ever knew him? The TV people who were ripping him to shreds because he hadn’t beaten himself senseless as yet?
Who? Well, certainly not to me. I didn’t have a horse in that particular race. And, I’m pretty sure the wife in question would prefer to hear her husband’s excuses and ‘mia culpas’ in the privacy of their home and not as a headline in the national newspapers.
But, the need for public apology is not just for participants of marital indiscretions anymore. Judges on a TV dance show were castigated for ‘being unkind’ to a truly woeful contestant. The opinion of outsiders was that the judges…professionals in their own right, should apologize to the contestant. The guy couldn’t dance and being dragged around the dance floor by his professional partner was painful to watch. Why make the judges the culprits in this little saga? And believe me, an apology, public or otherwise. would not suddenly make the gentleman in question a Mr. Twinkle-Toes.
Now too it seems that a public apology is some sort of standard by which the rest of the populous will judge the culprit to be worthy, of not just forgiveness, but, life in general. If the apology appears heartfelt…a tear sliding down a cheek is always good at this point…and the words don’t sound too rehearsed, the arbiters of forgiveness will sagely nod their collective heads and agree that ‘he should be given another chance.’
But, poor soul, this will not be the end of it all. For at least several years, his apology and forgiveness will be held up as model for others to emulate.
‘Tiger didn’t apologize for weeks, you know. He should have done it the moment it came to light. So John is really a much better person.’
‘Yep, he apologized the moment he was found out.’
‘Mmmm. A much more sincere person.’
All that could be heard from me when this little exchange hit my eardrums was a giant thud as my body hit the floor. So now even sincerity is to be judged by the speed at which public apologies are dished out. The fact that the apology was required at all seems to be lost on the politically correct population.
I’m so sorry for this post. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Hey, sincere enough?
Good post! A lot of things we see on the news should be private between the two parties that are involved.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I accept your apology.