On Being Cool         

           A little while ago a very sweet teenager told me that when she eventually gets to the dotage stage, she will be the ‘world’s coolest grandma.’  When I queried just exactly what did being a ‘cool grandma’ constitute, there was a decided lack of opinion.  I think it was one of those…can’t actually explain it, but I’ll know it when I see it…kind of things.

          Which of course, got me thinking about all the grandma’s, nanna’s, grannies and older ladies that I know or have met who work tirelessly to promote the happiness of their grandkids.  Would they be considered ‘cool’ by the youth of today?  Probably not.

          Certainly not if an email cartoon I received recently is any indication of just what ‘being cool’ is all about.  It listed all the new electronic gadgets available to all and sundry with the only apparent requirement for their correct usage being youth.  The punchline is a little old lady sitting hunched over an old computer with the caption ‘Go, Granny Go.’  A bit cheeky don’t you think?  Are we really considered thick as bricks and so far removed from the all knowing young people of today because we’ve got a few more years on our resumes?

          Listen up, young fry…before you stuck yourselves in solitary confinement with plastic plugs blocking your ears and glued your faces to colored screens of varying makes and sizes while your thumbs clacked out a message to another in solitary confinement, we granny’s were touch typing (that means without looking at the keyboard darlings) with all ten fingers at speeds north of 90 wpm.  And, incidentally, we could have a chat with our neighbor at the same time.  Try that with your thumbs and while blindfolded, sweet cheeks!

          If we really wanted to write something very quickly, most of us new a form of writing called shorthand that whipped out letters at upwards of 130 words a minute.

          When it was necessary to add, subtract, multiply or divide we did it with pencil, paper and brainpower and usually faster than you could check the batteries in your calculators.

          In the days before Al Gore invented the internet, and the gathering of information was left to Google or Wikipedia, we used books.  Yes, it took a little longer but along the way we discovered other treasures including how to spell and to locate cities and towns on a map.  Unlike most of the youth of today, we actually could find Washington DC or Canberra in our atlases.  Those are the big books with lots and lots of maps kiddies.

          Instead of bopping to music and lyrics heard only in our heads via a clutched Ipod, we shared our music with everyone within listening range.  It was fun to sing along together with the big hits of the day.   Something that only happens in karaoke bars now.

          Does the unwillingness of today’s grandma’s to join the zombie crowds shuffling along to their own drummers make them ‘uncool?’  I don’t think so…but then, what is a cool grandma?’

          I believe it is the woman who spends hours with her grandkids playing puzzles and word games despite the pile of laundry needing to be done at her own home.  It is the woman who will whip up a batch of cookies because the grandkids invited the whole neighborhood over without asking permission first.  It is the woman who will defend her grandkids in all situations and dare another to disagree.  It is the woman who will smile proudly at the achievements of her grandchildren even if the accomplishment is only getting a certificate for being a good student.  And it is the woman who will comfort a distraught teenager when she thinks her world is coming to an end because that cute boy at school won’t give her the time of day.

          That’s my idea of a ‘cool grandma.’  What do you think?