Separated by a Common Language

          The English have long been considered somewhat prudish, yet it is Americans who in panic blip out mild expletives on TV shows, make endless apologies for wardrobe malfunctions and oh so quaintly go to ‘the bathroom.’

          As a young woman in Australia, the first time I heard this odd phrase coming from the mouth of an American visitor,  I thought the woman requesting the use of ‘the bathroom’ wanted to take a shower or, at the very least, scrub her hands.  Since we were in the middle of a PTA meeting at the time, I realized her need was far more basic.  When later the same woman stopped the meeting to allow her little doggie to go outside ‘to use the bathroom,’ it was all I could do not to burst out laughing.  How very precious it all sounded.

          But it did get me thinking about the way two countries, with the same language, can be so many miles apart in the construction of sentences and the use of particular words.  Let alone the spelling of those very same words.

Australian English, and/or the Australian accent, is actually called Strine.  It is full of maddeningly shortened words and wild colloquialisms.  Many have said Strine came about when Aussies developed a highly efficient way of getting their sentences out while barely opening their mouths thus precluding the high density of local flies from getting into the open cavity.   I have no reason to think otherwise and, as a result, have to acknowledge that an American listening to two Aussies chatting might wonder just when did English become a foreign language?

Sentences like:  ‘she hoofed it to the servo because her spare had gone down the gurgler’ or ‘she was really upset, she chucked a wobbly right in the middle of the shopping center,’ would certainly produced confused looks from anyone not used to the Aussie vernacular.  How about, ‘he nearly lost the plot when his footie team came in last.’  Or, ‘having tried to make sense of the conversation, she finally decided to spit the dummy and returned home.’

          The garbo picks up the trash once a week; the avos are ripe and ready for a lovely salad; if you’d like a beverage to go with that salad, whip over to the bottle-o for some cold tinnies and, if you’re a young person and have matriculated high school, you might choose to attend Uni.

Makes my head want to explode or at least spin.

          Additionally, and possibly to avoid the above mentioned flies, Aussies, unlike their US counterparts, also avoid being redundant in their sentence structure.  Things do not fall ‘off of’ a shelf, table or other furniture.  In Australia they just ‘fall off.’ And, it should be pointed out that people in Oz ‘lie’ down to take a nap.  They leave the ‘laying’ to the chooks in the backyard.

          But, whether Aussies are ordering take-out from the local Chew and Spew or cutting up those avos for their salads to eat at home, they all use a toilet or a lavatory.  The bathroom is where the tub and shower are located.