Slither, Hiss and Scream - Part I

          I loathe air-conditioning.  I hate the thought of breathing regurgitated air with all windows and doors firmly shut while the effects of a stunningly clear blue sky is a pane of glass away.  For this reason, my idea of air-conditioning is an open window, an open door and a fan creating a soft breeze.

          Some years back and for a while, we lived in Virginia.  Our house was one of those cute two-storey jobs with a fully finished walk-out basement.  At the time, my husband and I were the proud owners of two adorable cocker spaniels and the basement was their turf.  Consequently, while I was locked up in an air-conditioned igloo upstairs, the basement door was left open so the dogs could come and go at will.

          And so it was on a balmy summer evening, with my husband away on business, I wandered down to check on my four-footed kids.  Despite the frigid conditions upstairs, I was dressed appropriately for a hot July night…shorts, t-shirt and bare feet.

          A small lamp which lit the basement all night…the better for the doggies to see their way in and out…cast a pleasing glow over the room.  Walking further into the room I noticed a fairly large stick lying on the floor.  Obviously, one of the dogs had dragged it in from our pocket-sized yard.

          Without much thought I gave the stick a kick, thinking to send it flying outside.  The stick immediately coiled, raised a full half of its body length upright and let fly with a glorious hiss.     

          Crikey!  And eeeek!!

          I stepped back and froze.  A furtive glance at my two canine heroes told me no help would be forthcoming from that direction.  They were both sitting up on a corner sofa ready to enjoy the show and no doubt bury my body in the yard if it became necessary.  So, what to do?

          Despite the fact I grew up in Australia, often publicized as a country with the largest number of venomous snakes, in all my years there I had never seen one.  Unless you include the overfed, snoring coils presented by Taronga Park Zoo.

          When you think you’re going to die, time does not stand still.  Instead it makes you stupid.

          I knew I had to get the snake out of my house…dead or alive.  But how?  Keeping my eyes on snake, I reached behind me and grabbing a can of spray, I emptied it over the snarling serpent.  What brilliance!  Did I really believe I could fly spray it to death?

          I think the snake coughed once.  It definitely gave me a dirty look as it again raised its body and showed me its teeth, or is that fangs?

          Here ends Part I… The continuing saga of snake, my doggies and me will continue in my next blog post.