Gliding To A Standstill

          Back in days of yore when I was making a living modeling, there were occasions when my strut down the runway was exciting.  Actually in those days we didn’t strut so much as glide.  Strutting was considered unladylike, and a graceful glide the epitome of modeling finesse.

          At the time, an organization called the Wool Board was to young models then what showing the clothing of the very top designers during Fashion Week in NY would be today.  Only the cream of the modeling crop was asked to participate in runway shows for the Wool Board.  And only the Wool Board was high enough up the design chain to have important personages, top ranking designers and even celebrities as guests to their shows.

          The preparation for the Wool Board shows was extensive.  Days of fittings with nips and tucks happening as one garment after another were fitted to each model.  Then hours of rehearsals as we were sent down the runway in order of the program guide. 

          All accessories for each garment were provided by the designers…hats, bags, scarves, even shoes.  And each piece gave the designer’s masterpiece the added oomph they thought it required.

          So it was one year we were excited to learn that the Duchess of Kent would be one of the guests at that year’s Wool Board show.  The Duchess of Kent!  She was a royal… okay perhaps gzillionth in line to the British throne, but still… certainly one of the tiara set.

          The designers nearly went ballistic prepping for the show.  The models were in such a tizzy I thought we’d all collapse in the dressing rooms before we even made it to the runway.

          But the lights dimmed, the show began… and off we went. 

          For one of my outfits, I’d been given a little silky terrier puppy as an accessory to walk with down the runway.  The puppy was a light brown color; my beautifully constructed suit was a lovely cream with dark brown shoes, bag and gloves.  I thought I looked superb… the height of elegance plus the addition of the puppy would set me and my outfit apart from the others.  What brilliance!

          I even had visions of the Duchess asking to actually see my garment up close and perhaps even being so enamored with my modeling abilities that she would buy the outfit.

          As I took my first pass down the runway, without any warning at all and right in front of the Duchess, my cute little pooch decided this was the perfect time and place to squat and pee.  Horrified I tried to tug the little thing to walk…away from the puddle on the carpet.  The doggie just sat and stared up at me.

          What did she want?  Surely she wasn’t expecting a treat? Or was she getting ready to do more than just pee? 

          I glanced red-faced at the Duchess who was laughing uproariously.  Well, all right then.  Not so bad after all.

          Still with dogs you never know…all my modeling gracefulness, my smartie pants poise, flew out the window as I picked up the pooch tucked her under my arm and strutted off to the dressing rooms.

          I guess I should be grateful my doggie accessory was a girl and not a boy.  I shudder at the thought of a boy doggie lifting his leg and letting a stream of pee fly right into the lap of the Duchess or even worse… into her face!  Yikes.