There is an old adage, ‘you are what
you eat.’ That must mean that my
neighbor, a tall, willowy, young miss, eats fresh air sandwiches on a regular
basis. And, she probably washes the
whole lot down with water from a secret spring under her house that contains
not simply zero calories but negative ten calories.
By the same standard, I must be the one who
hooks herself up to a vat of cream each mealtime and slurps strawberry
smoothies with wild abandon. Which,
trust me, I don’t do, so I consider it grossly unfair that I should pack on the
pounds just by looking at food, while others can eat what they like and remain
reed slim.
This dichotomy was recently brought to
mind when I read about a little girl who was scolded by her school teacher for
bringing an unsuitable lunch from home. Her neatly packed meal consisted of a
turkey sandwich, a banana, a small packet of chips and an apple juice. This, according to the Food Police at the
school was completely unsatisfactory.
Where was the milk? An essential food
requirement for healthy growth, they spouted.
Children should be encouraged to eat at the school cafeteria…after all,
that’s where good nourishment could be found.
And just what was the offering at the
school cafeteria that day you may ask?
Well, there was certainly milk.
Added to that there were trays and trays of greasy, fried, chicken
nuggets. Eat enough of those sweetie pie
and you’ll be wondering why you waddle when you walk.
But that’s how it seems to be in this
day and age. Even our TV advertisements
seem to contradict themselves. This fact
was actually pointed out to me by a very new immigrant to our fair shores
recently.
First, she said, we stare at lovely
slenderized lasses extolling the virtues of one diet eating plan after another.
The one a viewer eventually chooses is
dependent entirely on how good a sales job the TV lass has done at the time,
for there doesn’t appear to be much difference in the actual food.
Then, my friend continued, not ten
minutes later (usually in the next commercial break) a voice-over is telling us
that we should all pop over to Joe’s to enjoy a mouthwatering pizza as only Joe
can make it. Or, how about those
hamburgers with juices dripping, and with bacon curling around the succulent
meat pattie? Try pretending they’re just
as good for you as a salad of spring grasses and twigs, if you dare.
I’m fully aware that we, as a nation,
are horribly overweight. But, suggesting
that we all try an e-diet which, although delicious to look at tastes like soap
slices on grilled tree bark is asking too much.
At least it is asking too much of me.
On the other hand, if I could look as
svelte as my slender neighbor… perhaps a regular diet of fresh air sandwiches
is not such a bad thing?
